BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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