I heard we made out
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I forgot wine drunk hurts
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
