When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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