I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I got inside last night via doggy door
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize