Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
