i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
