All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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