"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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