i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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