u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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