farters have to be the big spoon...
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
And then my night got REAL pukey
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize