Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
