hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
My vagina is officially offended.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
