Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
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