I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
