He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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