The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
