the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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