i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
