i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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