Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Come on in and take your pants off
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