it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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