I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
