Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Your mouth is God's brothel.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
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