I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
My balls are so social today.
time to smoke my breakfast
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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