i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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