I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
