But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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