Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Say something about gay babies.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize