So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
