STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
