Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
