Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
