so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
