I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
