The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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