I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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