my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
