At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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