We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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