so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
