GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
