just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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