Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
