I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize