you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
