I can tuck mytits in my pants
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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