dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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