First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
