I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
