i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
