So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
