i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
