Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
