i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
