the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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