billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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