just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
