Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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