Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
