your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Randomize
