Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
