your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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