Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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